


The Mountain Goats

by thomasjeffersonsmacaroni



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sports, F/M, M/M, Slow Burn, i'm only tagging it bc i know some stormpilot fans are uncomfy w it, spiritassassin is mentioned, the reylo appears for like two seconds dw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 17:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11422341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni/pseuds/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni
Summary: Finn Skywalker moves down from New Hampshire to Florida and joins a rock climbing team. There, he is put on adventures that he never would have expected otherwise.





	1. Chapter 1

“Well, here we are.”

Finn Skywalker stepped out of his dad’s car and followed him into the rock climbing gym. They had registered for the youth team online the day before, so all that Finn needed to do was get his gear and walk in.

Neither of them actually knew what gear would be required, or even how much time they would have to dedicate to rock climbing. But Finn’s dad had told him that he would be willing to give up anything.

“You need to make friends, Fish Fin. Just because all your friends are up in New Hampshire doesn’t mean that you can’t make any new ones.”

That was what Finn’s dad, Luke Skywalker, had said when they were registering together. But Finn himself was more wary. He’d never been too good at making friends – the very fact that he had a little friend group of his own was a miracle – and he didn’t see any reason why this would be any different.

“I want to be a rock climber,” he’d said anyway. Rock climbing seemed cool from what he had read online. And even if he didn’t manage to make friends, he could at least manage to enjoy himself.

They walked into the gym, and a woman at the desk greeted them instantly.

“We registered online,” Finn’s dad explained while Finn himself stood awkwardly. “For the youth team. Finn Skywalker?”

“Ah, I’ve got you. Come here, Finn.”

“Come here, Finn,” Luke echoed.

Finn came.

“What you need to do first is rent shoes and a chalk bag. What shoe size are you?”

“I’m a size 9.”

“Rock climbing shoe sizes are often a size or so bigger than your street shoe size. Try these on first.”

They were a 9 ½. Finn barely managed to put them on, tightening the Velcro straps, before instantly taking them off and wincing.

“No?” the lady asked.

“No.”

“Your toes should bend a little bit when you put the shoes on. That’s normal. But just like ordinary shoes, they shouldn’t hurt _too_ much. Try these on.”

She took them back and handed him new ones, which seemed to be a 10. These fit a bit better – not perfectly, once again, but better.

“These are good.”

“Well, good. You’re also going to need a chalk bag. Tie it around your waist and keep the bag itself to your back or to the side.”

She slid over one with a space pattern, and Finn did as she told him to.

“All right, now go in and join your teammates. They usually meet towards the back before doing anything.”

Finn’s dad clapped him on the shoulder. “See you in two hours. Have fun. Make friends.”

“I’ll try,” Finn said, wincing slightly.

“Promise me you’ll try.”

“I promise, Dad.”

“Your son is a shy one, isn’t he?” the woman asked with a smile, handing a chalk bag to another girl.

“He is,” Luke admitted.

“Well, don’t worry. Our Mountain Goats are a fun bunch. I’m sure they’ll be more than glad to take him under his wing.”

The girl looked over and tied her chalk bag around her waist. Finn could see that she was wearing a blue shirt with a cartoon drawing of a white-and-gray goat. “Take him under his _hoof,_ if we’re the Mountain Goats, which we are. But you’re right about us being a fun bunch.”

With a final hug, Luke left through the door, and the girl continued.

“Are you new?”

“I am. We moved here from New Hampshire, and my dad made me sign up for this to make friends.”

The girl lowered one eyebrow and raised the other. _“Made_ you? You’re not passionate about climbing on your own? Because if not, you’re not going to have a fun time, I’m sorry to say, friend.”

“No, no, no.” Finn held up his hands in an X. “That’s not what I meant. What I meant was, my dad wanted me to sign up for _something_ to make friends, and I picked rock climbing because it sounded cool on the Internet. So if I don’t make friends, I’ll at least enjoy myself.”

“Ah. Gotcha,” the girl said with a nod. “Well, you’re in luck, because you’re going to make friends _and_ enjoy yourself. I’m Rey, by the way. Rey Kenobi.”

“Finn Skywalker.”

Rey held out her hand, and Finn shook it.

“Lovely to meet you, Finn. After you.”

She turned the handle of the door and swung it open. When Finn looked inside, he couldn’t help but open his mouth in a gasp.

The rock climbing walls seemed to stretch all the way up to the sky, and there were so many of them that they could be climbed forever. On one side of the gym were the small ones, and a boulder in the middle of them, and on the other, there was a huge pit with ropes attached to it and routes separated from each other with different boulder colors.

“Whoa,” Finn gasped, looking over at Rey, who was smiling encouragingly as she watched him.

“I had the same reaction when I first saw it,” she said to him. “It was my _dream_ to get into the Pit. When I first did… _whoa._ ”

“What was it like?” Finn asked, letting her lead him to the rest of the youth team.

“I’m not going to spoil the experience for you. All I’m going to say is _whoa._ ”

“Okay, I guess.”

As they walked to the back of the gym, Finn breathed heavily as he stared ahead. He needed, absolutely needed, to make a good impression on his new teammates.

Someone patted him on the shoulder as soon as he arrived, and Finn turned around, confused. After all, he didn’t know anyone yet. How could he possibly be recognized?

With this in mind, Finn almost found himself ignoring the person who had tapped him in the first place. Almost.

Because there was no way to ignore the most beautiful boy Finn had ever seen.

He was about Finn’s height, maybe a bit taller, with big muscles and a perfectly sculpted face. Messy brown hair swept over a soft forehead, and a mischievous grin shone in Finn’s direction.

“Hey there,” Mystery Cute Boy said.

“Hi.”

“You must be the newbie. Coach Jyn said we had one.”

“Yep. That’s me.” Finn held out his hand, and Mystery Cute Boy shook it.

“I’m Poe, by the way, and I’m gay.”

Finn laughed. “I’m Finn, and I’m bi.”

“Well, let me set things straight for you, because we’re both not. I’ll be your guide, all right?”

 _“I’m_ his guide,” Rey protested.

“I’m adopting him from you now. Sorry, Rey-Bans. I’m really not.”

Rey sighed. “Ugh, fine.”

“All righty,” Poe said, taking Finn’s hand. “Our coaches today are Coach Jyn and Coach Cassian. The rest of the cast is a rotating ensemble to whom I’ll introduce you if you stay. You’re staying, right? Please tell me you are.”

 _I’m not sure yet, actually,_ Finn wanted to say. But the words froze into ice on his lips, and new words, coming out in a hot stream, came from the bottom of his heart.

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?”

Poe beamed. “So today, besides myself and Rey, we have Jess, who’s the Asian girl with the long hair, Ben, who’s the tall guy with black hair, Armi-”

 _“DON’T CALL ME ARMI!”_ a boy with ginger hair yelled across the gym.

“Jeez. Calm down, _Armitage,”_ Poe yelled back before looking over at Finn and giggling.

“That’s Armitage slash Armi for you. Always mad at me.”

“Who’s the blonde girl?”

“That’s Gwen, but she’ll kill you if you call her that. She prefers Phasma.”

“A’ight.”

“Ben used to go by Kylo Ren, but he just randomly stopped one day. None of us can figure out why.”

Finn nodded wisely. “Is this everyone on the team?”

“Pretty much, yeah. We have a couple of others, but they never come, so we don’t count them. It’s just the seven of us.”

Poe was counting Finn. The very fact of that sent warmth flowing down his throat and into his stomach.

“All right, now we have to traverse,” Poe explained. “Pava, get over here.”                      

“Nice try, Dameron,” the Asian girl with long hair whom Poe had identified as Jess said with a smirk. “Already traversed three times. Unlike you.”

“Oh, shut up. Anyway, what traversing is is basically, see that boulder wall over there?”

Poe pointed over at the small walls, the ones with the boulder in between them. Finn nodded.

“You have to climb across that three times. You can go around the big parts that, like, set you at an angle. Coach Jyn makes us cross them, but she isn’t here right now. Don’t know where she is.”

“All right.”

Poe, Finn, and Rey all walked over to the wall and stepped on it. Along the rather easy path, Finn’s mind worked a mile a minute.

He had always been bad at making friends – or so he had thought, until now. But the Mountain Goats were different from any people he had ever encountered.

Especially Poe Dameron. More than anything, Finn wanted to get to know Poe Dameron.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, what do you do once you finish traversing?” Finn asked Poe and Rey.

“Well-” Rey began, but Poe stepped in front of her and wagged a finger.

 _“I’m_ the guide, Kenobi, not you. Usually, we climb routes of rank 1 or 2 – out of 5, in case you didn’t know – to keep warming up, but _some of us_ like to project routes of a higher difficulty.”

He cast a glance over at Armitage and began coughing violently.

 _“Jesus._ Kid has no concept of a warmup _what. So. Ever.”_

“Don’t feel pressured to do high difficulty routes just yet, Finn,” Rey put in, clamping a surprisingly strong hand over Poe’s mouth to shut him up. “When I first came, I started small. Try that green on for size.”

Finn walked over to it obediently.

“Place your hands on the start hold – see, that big one with that label? Some routes have two-handed starts, but not this one. You’ll know those with a hand label like that one over there.”

She pointed a slender finger to Finn’s left, and he nodded after turning around and looking.

“Basically,” Poe picked up, “you have to climb that route, but you can’t let either your hand or your foot touch a hold that isn’t green. In competition, you’d have to come down from the route right away-”

“-but it’s your first time here,” Rey said, cutting him off, “so don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake. It’s okay.”

“Okay,” Finn said. But just as he was about to climb on, an unfamiliar voice echoed through the gym.

“Mountain Goats, to the back!”

Finn jumped off, eyes wide. “Whoa. Loud.”

“That’s Coach Jyn,” Poe explained. “Coach Cassian should be with her.”

Sure enough, when they arrived and sat down next to Jess, a man and a woman were sitting and talking.

“All right, guys,” the woman said in a light British accent. “Today, I’d like you all to welcome our newest teammate, Finn Skywalker. Finn, stand up, please.”

Finn stood up, and the rest of the team clapped awkwardly.

“We’ll stretch after practice today. Everyone, introduce yourselves to Finn. I’m Coach Jyn, and that’s Coach Cassian over there.”

“I’m Poe, as you know.”

“I’m Rey.”

“Jessika, or Jess.”

“Ben.”

“Armitage.”

“Phasma.”

Finn smiled and waved politely.

“I hope you guys accept him as one of your own,” Coach Cassian put in.

“Yeah. Play nice. Everyone except for Finn, feel free to go project. Coach Cassian will be helping you if you need it. I’ll be working with Finn to teach him basic techniques.”

“Coach Jyn?” Poe piped up as Finn began to sit down.

“Yes, Poe?”

“Can I help teach Finn techniques? My project got taken down.”

“Well, then, find a new one. But focus on your own climbing for now.”

“What’s projecting?” Finn asked Rey in a whisper.

“When you find a route that you can’t do and work on it. It’s objectively the best part of climbing. Especially when you finish it.”

Rey stood up and chalked up her hands before moving towards a white Level 4 route. Finn, on the other hand, followed Coach Jyn to the very same green Level 1 that he had wanted to try.

“So, the very first thing you need to know is…”

 

At the end of practice, Finn was so cramped that he could barely move his hands. He drank water like there was no tomorrow, one hand feebly undoing the Velcro straps of one shoe.

But he was _happy._

“Hey, Finn,” Rey said, walking up to him. “You have a cell phone, right?”

Finn tried to laugh, but he was so out of breath that all he could do was heave air. “Of course. Who _doesn’t_ have a cell phone?”

“Lots of people. My friend Rose, for one. Anyway, can you put your number in my phone? I’ll text you.”

“Yeah, sure. But I left my phone at home.”

Poe sat next to them, putting his own gear into his bag but not saying anything. As Finn opened the Contacts app and typed in his name, Rey turned to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Don’t you want to get Finn’s number?”

“Oh!” Poe lit up and pulled his phone out of his bag. “Here. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Finn said with amusement.

“My number, too,” Jess put in, sliding her own phone across the couch.

Finn obliged all three. Rey placed a hand on his shoulder and knelt down.

“Don’t worry about the others. They don’t really mingle outside of their group.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

That was the truth. Finn was honestly happy just having new friends in the first place.

The door swung open, and Finn saw that his dad had come to pick him up. After a moment’s hesitation, he hugged Rey, Poe, and Jess individually before hurriedly returning his gear and grabbing his water bottle.

“Are you happy?” Finn’s dad asked as their car was pulling out.

“Yes,” Finn said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. “Yes, yes, I am.”


	3. Chapter 3

Before the next practice, which was half a week later, Poe was standing in front of the door and waiting when Finn came in.

“You came back!” he exclaimed happily, wrapping Finn into a hug and picking him up.

“Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh, man, I was so worried you wouldn’t that I didn’t even bother to ask. I’m glad you did, though. I’m terrible at texting back, and I didn’t want our friendship to be ruined because of it. C’mon, let’s traverse.”

Poe _was_ terrible at texting back; during that half-week, they had become fast friends over their shared interests, but it had been rather frustrating to wait hours and hours for a response.

“Where’s Rey?” Finn asked as the two got onto the wall.

“Dunno. Why, do you _like_ her?”

Poe winked, and Finn looked down at his feet with a smile.

“She’s my friend! Aren’t _you_ worried about her?”

“Nah. Not really. She’ll be fine.”

After the triple traverse – Finn wasn’t any better at navigating the tricky parts, so he allowed Poe to climb ahead – they walked over to keep warming up. Just as Poe was climbing a purple Level 2, Finn saw Rey come in with her mom.

“Oh, _there_ you are!” He ran up to her and hugged her tightly, and she hugged back.

“You’re late,” Poe called from the gym.

“Man, traffic was a mess. Don’t blame me. Jess isn’t coming, by the way. She’s sick.”

“I _will_ blame you. Finn here was oh-so-worried about you. I’m sure he’s glad you’re okay.”

“Oh, shut up,” Finn protested. Rey grinned and put an elbow on his shoulder.

“Say, Finn,” Poe said, approaching the two. “What techniques did Coach Jyn teach you about last practice?”

“Nothing too hard. Just, you know, keeping your arms straight, how to climb a route, how to do a foot switch. I’m not climbing hard routes anyway, so nothing too drastic.”

Poe frowned. “That’s nowhere near enough. I’m taking it upon myself to be your coach from now on. That cool?”

“Uh-” Finn began, not sure what to say. Poe had smiled that mischievous smile again, the one that made his heart race impossibly fast and his mind clam up. In that silence, Rey spoke.

“C’mon, Poe. It’s not like Coach Jyn is going to teach him everything in one day. I’m sure he’ll work on technique even more.”

“You can still be my coach, though,” Finn said with a smile. “I’m sure you’ll be a good one.”

“Thanks, buddy. First of all, let me teach you one of my favorite things: the _back flag._ ”

“What? No!” Rey protested. “Why would he need a back flag at this point? Teach him the regular flag, if anything. Or, like, how to do a dynamic.”

“He doesn’t need a dynamic at this point, either.”

“Smearing, then.”

“I hardly ever _use_ smearing!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Finn held out his hands. “Slow down. I don’t even understand what those mean.”

Poe climbed on the wall, only his left foot pressing against a hold, and threaded the right in a criss-cross. “This is a back flag.”

After putting the foot back and spreading it out: “And _this_ is a regular flag.”

“A dynamic is when you jump to the next hold,” Rey said. “But you don’t need it yet, like I said. It’s only really applicable for Level 3 routes at least.”

“And smearing is when you use the wall as a hold, so to speak. It’s really messy. But Coach Jyn always teaches it to new climbers.”

“And for good reason,” Rey said. “It’s an important motion, even if you don’t like it.”

“Whatever you say, Kenobi.”

“Mountain Goats, to the back!”

This time, when the trio returned, there were two unfamiliar men waiting there along with Coach Jyn. One introduced himself as Coach Bodhi and the other as Coach Baze.

“After stretching, you’ll get about half an hour or so to project,” Coach Baze said. “You, too, Finn. Find yourself a Level 1 or 2. After that, we’ll be doing technique exercises.”

“But we already _know_ technique!” Phasma protested.

“You all need a refresher in it. I’ve noticed some of you slipping up. And this way, you can all work together as a team instead of splitting up.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“I’m glad I have your approval, Phasma. Anyway, let’s begin stretching. Would you like to lead us, Rey?”

Rey sprang up eagerly. After it was over, everyone on the team except for Finn and Poe drifted off.

“Why aren’t you going with them?” Finn asked.

“Why aren’t _you?”_

“I don’t have a project.”

“Well, then, go find one! Or I’ll find one for you. You don’t want that. I’ll make you overachieve.”

“Make me overachieve, then,” Finn said with a smirk.

“All right. If that’s what you want, then let’s go.”

Poe led Finn by the hand to a white Level 2.

“It’s right next to my project,” he explained. “So we can be close. After you, good sir.”

Finn placed his hands on the two start holds and his feet on the lowest foot holds that he could find. One hand attempted to let go and find something higher but got stuck in an awkward position. After a couple of seconds of struggling, Finn hopped down, blushing furiously.

“Looks like a case of bad technique,” Poe said. “Don’t worry about it. Now’s the opportunity when you’d want to use a flag. Try leaving your left foot off.”

Just as Finn was about to begin, Coach Bodhi came over and looked at Poe sternly.

“You gave him too hard of a route. Focus on your own climbing for now, all right? Come with me, Finn. I’ll show you something easier.”

“Oh, no,” Poe said sadly, bottom lip jutting out exaggeratedly. “Goodbye, Finn. I’ll see you again sometime.”

“Oh, stop being so melodramatic,” Coach Bodhi said, whacking him softly on the back of his ear. “You’re on the same team. Of course you’ll see each other again.”

He led Finn away to an orange Level 2 and watched as he looked at it.

“Poe’s the type of person who always needs to be _doing,_ ” Coach Bodhi explained. “He’s always on the move, always working, always trying to do more than he can. And he expects others to be the same. Don’t mind him.”

Finn looked over and grinned. “I love it, actually.”

“Jyn’s the same, actually. You should see her at competitions. Anyway, what do you want to do for this route?”

“Maybe I could try a flag?”

Bodhi laughed. “I don’t think you’ll need one for this route, actually. Why don’t you try it normally first, and if you need any techniques, come down and think about it.”

Finn obliged. In the end – it took him the whole half hour that they were given – he was able to complete it with only a foot switch.

“Mountain Goats, to the back!”

Finn, still glowing from his accomplishment, followed Bodhi to the back. Rey nudged him on the shoulder once they were sitting next to each other and waiting for everyone else.

“You seem happy, Finn. What’s up?”

“I did a Level 2!”

Rey held out a hand, and Finn slapped it. Unflinching, Rey asked him, “Which Level 2 was it?”

“That orange over there. Coach Bodhi told me to. Poe wanted me to do the white, but Coach Bodhi said it was hard for me.”

“And he was right. I’m going to have to yell at Poe when he comes over here. But still, good job doing that 2! I’m proud of you!”

Just as she hugged him tightly, Poe showed up, frustrated look crossing his face, and sat down next to him.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Finn did his first Level 2!”

Poe held out a hand for a high-five, and Finn accepted it, heart skipping a beat. _“Nice._ You should’ve done the Level 2 I showed you.”

“No, he shouldn’t have. He’s new. Give the kid a break.”

“Break? There are no breaks on the path to success. All jokes aside, good job, buddy. I always knew you could. From the moment you walked in.”

“Thanks.”

“All right,” Coach Baze said. “I’m going to take you all to the pit. There’s a wall off to the side that’s perfect for practicing technique.”

“Do we get our harnesses?” Ben asked.

“No. We’ll be climbing small. Sorry, Ben. Wait till January.”

“All right.”

Poe leaned over and whispered in Finn’s ear. “A couple months ago, he probably would’ve thrown a tantrum. He’s started being calmer lately. None of us can figure out why.”

Finn looked over at Rey and saw that she was staring down at her hands. He was tempted to ask her about it but decided that it was probably just his imagination. She was probably just daydreaming about something unimportant.

“Let’s go,” Rey said, suddenly snapping out of it. Finn and Poe followed her and the others down into the pit.

Finn was the only one out of the group who had never been down in the pit. The moment they arrived, he couldn’t help but let out a gasp. From the bottom, the walls loomed even higher, so high that he could barely even see the tops of some of them. For a moment, he imagined climbing all the way up, holds digging into his hands, but he wouldn’t even feel it through the rush of exhilaration. If he looked down from the very, very top he would probably barely be able to see the people. Everything would be small but himself and the holds.

“Finn, you all right, buddy?” Poe asked. Finn looked over and nodded absentmindedly.

Rey grinned. “I told you it was _whoa._ Wait until you get up there.”

“Yeah.”

“So!” Coach Baze burst in. “First, we’ll be reviewing-”

“Flagging?” Poe asked.

“Yes, actually,” Coach Baze said with a mysterious smile. “You happy now?”

“Never been better. Coach Baze, can I teach Finn how to do it?”

“Sorry, Poe. We’ll be working as a group. I don’t want you guys to split up again. But do you want to demonstrate for us?”

Poe sprang up enthusiastically, face glowing, and ran up to the wall. As Finn watched his excited smile, the way he seemed to be overflowing with happiness and joy, he felt a warmth deep inside his body.

He was falling deeper and deeper in love with every second. And he didn’t care at all.


	4. Chapter 4

“So, Finn, are you excited for next practice?”

It was December, and Finn had been a part of the Mountain Goats for three months now. True to the original desk lady’s words, he had been accepted as part of the group instantly, and true to his father’s wishes, he now had a solid group of friends down in Florida. His crush on Poe had only kept growing and growing, but neither of them had ever thought to do anything about it.

Finn and Rey were sitting on his bed and talking, and his dad was in the computer room doing work or something.

“What’s next practice?” Finn asked.

Rey’s eyes opened wide. “You don’t know?”

“Um, no?”

“I could’ve _sworn_ Coach Jyn mentioned it. Basically, among the Mountain Goats, we have this tradition where you have to bring a baked good, preferably something sweet, and we all share it. We also have a dance-off that the coaches judge. You know, since it’s so close to Christmas?”

Finn’s eyes widened, and it took a great deal of effort not to fall off of the bed. “I can’t bake at all. Can I bring something from the store or something?”

 _“No._ C’mon, Finn, let’s go to the kitchen and see what you have. At the very least, you can bring cookies or something.”

“I guess.”

Finn led Rey to the kitchen and watched as she opened the fridge and the pantry, muttering to herself, as if checking boxes off of an invisible checklist. Through the commotion, Finn’s dad came in, holding his laptop in one hand.

“What are you two doing?” he asked Finn. Rey looked up and answered for him, explaining the Christmas tradition and Finn’s inability to bake.

Finn’s dad laughed. “I can help you kids if you want. Just as long as we don’t have to run to the store and get anything. Finn, do you want to make lemon cookies?”

“It seems too hard,” Finn protested. “I don’t want you to help me _too_ much.”

“They’re actually super easy,” Rey reassured him.

Finn’s dad nodded and began taking out ingredients, holding up each one at every step, teaching him how to crack an egg and mix batter and everything else that a baker needed to know. Thirty minutes later, Rey pulled lemon cookies out of the oven and began placing them on a rack. Finn took one, wincing at the hotness, and gently nibbled at an end, eyes widening as soon as he did.

“Mmph mmph mmph!” he said, cramming the whole thing in his mouth. After washing it down with water and swallowing it: “This is good!”

“You sound surprised,” Finn’s dad said, taking one for himself.

“Well, yeah. I had too much of a hand in making them. Rey, do you want one?”

Rey was putting the ingredients into the sink and opening the dishwasher to load it.

“Rey, you don’t have to do that,” Finn’s dad said. “I’ll wash the dishes later.”

“No, I want to. And I don’t want to take one now. Otherwise, there won’t be enough for tomorrow.”

“That makes sense,” said Finn, putting back the second cookie that he had taken. He moved over to the sink and began loading the dishwasher with Rey.

“I’m going back to work,” Finn’s dad said. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“Thanks, Mr. Skywalker.”

After loading the dishwasher, Rey and Finn came back to his room. Just as Finn was about to suggest playing a board game, Rey’s phone buzzed, and she pulled it out.

“Poe wants to know if we’re having fun without him,” she said, giggling.

“Tell him that we miss him and we wish he was here and not visiting his boring and vaguely homophobic grandparents. Also, tell him-”

Finn had wanted to say _that I love him_ but cut himself off instantly. Rey didn’t know about his crush on Poe, and he didn’t want it to slip out just like that.

“Tell him what?” Rey asked.

“That he should come back,” Finn improvised quickly. Rey glanced at him and began typing out a text.

“All right, let’s play a board game now,” she suggested. “I don’t want to spend this whole time talking to Poe and not you.”

“What board game?” Finn asked.

“Do you have Uno?”

“Yeah. Hang on.”

Finn retrieved the Uno deck from his desk drawer and began dealing the cards. As he counted them out, Rey asked, “You didn’t really want me to tell Poe that he should come back, right?”

Finn flushed but said nothing.

“You wanted to say something else. I could see it in your eyes.”

Still, nothing.

“It’s okay, dude. You can tell me.”

Finn finished dealing out the cards and placed one down from the top of the deck. A green seven.

“You can go first,” he said. “I wanted to say ‘that I love him.’”

Rey placed down a green block turn and a green two. “How’s that bad?”

“Well, the thing is that I have a crush on him. And telling you like that seemed like the worst way to tell you.”

“Oh.”

Rey put down her cards and looked at him, eyes glittering softly. “Why don’t you tell him?”

“I don’t know if he likes me back! And if he doesn’t, it’s going to be really awkward for our friendship. I value our friendship more than I value our potential romance.”

“Hey, it’s all right,” Rey said warmly. “It won’t be ruined. I promise. Before Jess got a girlfriend, she confessed her love for Poe, and he refused her because he was gay, of course, and we’re all still close. Friendship is stronger than unrequited love. Trust me.”

Finn looked down at the deck. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. Hey, why don’t you tell him at the dance-off? That’ll be romantic. And Coach Baze says that if anyone gets together at a dance-off, he gives them free coupons for an ice cream date. Phasma and Ben tried to fake it once, but Coach Jyn called their bluff.”

Finn’s hands clenched into fists. In that moment, he realized that he _did_ want to follow Rey’s suggestion. Yes, it made him nervous beyond words, and yes, it made him want to eat an entire barrel of ice cream while watching romantic movies. But more than that, he realized that if he didn’t ask Poe out, then he would never know if his feelings were requited.

“I’ll do it,” he said firmly.

Rey leaned over and hugged him, game of Uno forgotten already. “I’m proud of you, Finn. Good luck.”

 

The event itself would happen after regular practice. Coach Jyn, dressed in a Christmas sweater and a Santa hat, took Finn’s lemon cookies and placed them in the party room, smiling widely.

“Happy holidays!” she said to everyone on the team as they came in. “Come on in and traverse quickly. We’ll be doing something special today.”

Coaches Cassian and Bodhi were handing out Santa hats, and Coach Baze was writing something down on a piece of paper. Another man was sitting next to him and hugging him from the back.

“That’s his fiancé, Chirrut,” Rey explained to Finn in a whisper. “He’s a martial arts instructor a couple blocks away. He doesn’t come often, but whenever he does, he kicks everyone’s butts in arm wrestling.”

“He also has a seeing eye dog,” Poe said, balancing three Santa hats on his head at once. “His name is Kirby the Second, Subordinate Optician, or K2-SO for short. K for even shorter. He doesn’t like me very much.”

Finn nodded and smiled, one hand running itself along the note that he had written and put in his pocket. He and Rey had decided on it in case Finn lost his words and ended up a stammering, mumbling mess.

“Well, let’s go traverse,” Poe said, pulling Finn and Rey along. When they came in, Jess was already sitting there and waiting for them.

“Hey, Jess!” Poe called out, climbing onto the wall. “Do you happen to know what the ‘something special’ is?”

“Of course. Basically, we’re splitting up into three teams, and each team is getting a Christmas tree to fill out. Certain routes have ornaments attached to them that you can get if you climb them, but some of them you can only get if you climb it a certain way.”

“Like techniques?” Rey asked.

“Yeah, pretty much. Whoever has the most ornaments at the end of the game wins. I think Chirrut said we’d have an hour. And then we get half an hour to project if we want, and the last half is gonna be deep stretches.”

“How do you know all this?” Finn asked.

“Chirrut told me. He said that technically, Coach Baze said he couldn’t tell anyone, but he doesn’t listen.”

“A man after my own heart,” said Poe with a smile.

“Oh, shut up. You apologize to your mother even if you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Literally fight me, Jess.”

Finn would tell Poe just before the dance-off started, while they were next to each other eating the baked goods that were brought. It was with this in mind that he moved through the two-hour practice, even the fun activities seeming like he was only going through the motions.

“I’m going to tell him,” he promised a concerned Rey, pulling her aside during the scavenger hunt (he was on a team with Poe and Jess, and she was working with Ben).

“I’m going to tell him,” he promised again, this time in a whisper during deep stretching, avoiding the vigilant eye of Coach Bodhi.

“Rey, stop worrying about me!” he finally burst out as they made their way to the party room, where Jyn was laying out plates, sneakily nibbling cookies when she thought that no one was looking.

“I’m just trying to be a good wingwoman,” Rey said defensively. “You know, looking out for your love life.”

“Well, you don’t need to.”

The others were filing in. Finn sat in between Poe and Rey, Jess on Poe’s other side, and all of them grabbed plates of assorted cookies and ate them with enthusiasm.

“Happy holidays,” Poe said warmly, drinking water from his bottle.

“Happy holidays to you, too.”

Rey tapped Finn on the shoulder, and he nodded, heart beating so fast that it pounded against his chest. His fingernails dug into his fists so hard that they left marks.

“Poe, I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

Finn took a deep breath before beginning his confession. He was probably going to need that note, now that he thought about it. He was panicking too much to do without it.

In that moment, Poe’s phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it.

“One second,” he said. “I have to take this.”

He excused himself from the party room. His voice was so quiet that Finn couldn’t hear it, but at the end of the call, he could hear something that sounded like _Love you, babe._

“Sorry,” Poe said, coming back in.

“Who was that?” Ben asked, setting down a piece of the chocolate cake that Jess had brought in.

“My boyfriend,” Poe said simply.

_“Ooh!”_

Phasma practically jumped out of her seat with enthusiasm.

“Poe, you didn’t tell us that you had a boyfriend,” she said teasingly. “Tell us _all_ about him.”

“Well, his name is Dylan, and I met him while going up to my grandma’s. He lives next door to them. We got together when I was seeing them for Thanksgiving, and we got to see each other again when I went up there for Christmas.”

“Why do we not know about this?” Jess asked indignantly.

“I was really shy about it,” Poe said, sitting down. “I’m sorry, guys.”

“Hmmph.”

“Congratulations, Poe!” Rey exclaimed.

“Congratulations,” Ben and Armitage repeated.

“Congratulations!” Finn said with enthusiasm, patting him on the back, tongue pressing against the roof of his mouth to choke down the tears.

“Thanks,” Poe said sheepishly. “Hey, Finn, what was it you wanted to tell me?”

An image flashed in Finn’s mind. He imagined himself telling Poe his feelings, just as he’d originally planned to, reveling in the gasps of shock echoing around the room. He imagined Poe’s eyes widening, their lips meeting with the hot passion of an affair. Poe would have to live a double life around Dylan, unless he wanted to choose between them. But Poe was the type of person who _wouldn’t_ be able to choose, who would postpone the decision until Dylan found out one way or another, and until their relationship was over. Finn imagined Poe coming to practice in tears. He really _did_ love Dylan. He could see it in his eyes even now. Poe would be heartbroken if their relationship ended.

Finn didn’t care about having Poe to himself now. Even if they couldn’t be lovers, he cared about his friend.

“Oh, just a pun. It’s Christmas related.”

“Ooh, what?”

The tears weren’t coming now. The sinking feeling in his heart, at least on the surface, was covered up with happiness.

“Okay, so there’s an officer named Rudolph, right? And he gets angry a lot, so his nickname is Rudolph the Red. So he’s walking around the city and patrolling, right? And a couple is walking by also. And the lady in the couple, she notices something wet falling from the sky, and she says, ‘Oh, look, it’s snowing.’ And her husband says, ‘No, I’m sure it’s raining.’ And the woman, she insists that it’s snowing. So the husband notices Officer Rudolph walking by, and he says, ‘Officer Rudolph, help decide this argument. Is it raining or snowing?’ And Officer Rudolph says, ‘Oh, it’s raining.’ And the man turns to his wife and says, ‘See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.’”

It took Poe a moment, but then he burst out into laughter, the entire team laughing along.

“Oh, that’s a good one. Do you know any more?”

“Not that I can think of right now, no. I’ll tell you later if I remember any.”

“We have ourselves a deal.”

“Are you guys done?” Coach Jyn asked. “Because if you are, it’s time for the dance-off.”

“Yeah, we are.”

The team got up and went to the main lobby, where Coach Baze was already putting on music. Coach Cassian showed them a bracket, which involved Poe competing against K2-SO the dog for the first round.

“Well, of _course_ you’re going to choose your dog over me!” Poe protested.

“We’ll be holding a vote among the five of us,” Coach Bodhi reassured him. “There are only two guaranteed votes for the dog. If you have the moves and the charm, you’ll win. Don’t you worry.”

“Wait, how is Chirrut going to judge if he’s blind?” Finn asked.

“He judges based on the feeling that he gets from your dancing,” Coach Baze explained. “You know, the charm around the room.”

“That makes sense,” Finn said, even though it didn’t.

“Rey against Phasma, begin!” Coach Cassian announced.

To his own credit, Finn didn’t cry throughout its entire duration (Ben, to everyone’s surprise, ended up winning). He didn’t even cry as he hugged all of his friends and wished them a happy holiday season. And most importantly, he didn’t cry during the twenty minutes while his dad drove him home.

It was only when he went back to his room and changed into his regular clothes that he finally flopped onto his bed, choking his sobs in his pillow.


	5. Chapter 5

“Finn, it’s time to wake up.”

Finn rolled over from his stomach to his back, groaning loudly to make it seem like he had just stopped sleeping. In reality, he had woken up about an hour ago, and that hour had been spent staring at his pillow and trying not to cry.

Somehow, the tears that he had choked back had added up inside of his soul, flinging him into the deepest sadness he had ever experienced in his life. He didn’t want to do _anything,_ let alone wake up. He just wanted to stay where he was forever.

“Fiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn…”

The door swung open, and Finn’s dad came in, smiling mischievously, hands outstretched as if about to enter a tickle war. Finn put on his happy façade too late; his dad caught on to his sadness and smoothed out a portion of the blanket next to him.

“What’s wrong, Finny?”

Finn sat up and sighed, staring down at the floor and clenching his fists tightly.

“Is it heartbreak?” Finn’s dad asked. Finn nodded sadly.

“Yesterday, at the dance-off party, I wanted to ask Poe out. But he has a boyfriend. I learned that just before I wanted to. And I’m happy for him, he’s my friend and all, but…”

Finn’s dad wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry, Finn. I know how much you liked him. But remember that you’re still friends. Friendship is important, too.”

“I know. But still.”

“There are other fish in the sea. Don’t beat yourself up over one heartbreak. C’mon, let’s eat breakfast. You’ll feel better instantly.”

Breakfast, which turned out to be chocolate-chip pancakes, did indeed soothe the burden from Finn’s shoulders, even if it wasn’t by much. After breakfast, Finn brushed his teeth, changed out of his pajamas, and went to the living room, where he sat on the couch for a solid minute, forgetting what it was he came to do.

_Oh. Right._

Like a zombie, Finn looked through the games that he had for X-box. Eventually, he settled on Minecraft and plugged it in, bypassing all the worlds he had made when he was twelve and choosing a new one.

It felt strange at first to play the game, and it took a bit of time before Finn figured it out and stopped getting killed seemingly every few seconds. But then, he started work on his house, a simplistic wooden thing on the top of the default world’s mountain.

“Finn, you haven’t played Minecraft in years,” Finn’s dad said curiously, coming up behind him. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Finn sighed.

“If this is your way of coping with heartbreak, I’d rate it about a six out of ten. You’re not hurting yourself or moping about doing nothing, but you’re also not doing anything productive. Pretty good for the first stage of the healing process. I’m proud of you.”

“I’ll clean my room later, I guess. What would you give that?”

“A nine. Hey, do you want me to invite Rey over? I’m sure she’ll make you feel better in a pinch.”

“Sure.” Finn saved his game and turned the X-box off. “I’ll invite her myself. Wait, you have her number?”

“Not her number, but I’m friends with her on Facebook. We bond over taking care of you.”

“Ah.”

Finn walked to his room, got his phone, and texted Rey to ask her to come over. Within a couple of seconds, she texted back.

_Sure. I’ll bring ice cream. I feel like you’ll need it._

_I will,_ Finn texted back. In the meantime, he decided to start cleaning his room, which basically consisted of shoving the clutter on his desk inside of his drawers. He managed to “clean” practically all of it in the ten minutes before the doorbell rang.

By the time Finn came to open it, Rey was already coming in, balancing two spoons on a crate of cookie-dough-flavored ice cream.

“Hey, Finn,” she said. “What do you want to do?”

“Let’s just hang out in my room and eat ice cream for now.” Just as he was about to lead her away, Finn’s dad spoke.

“Hey, kids, I’ll be out running some errands. I’ll be back in about half an hour. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

“We won’t, Mr. Skywalker,” Rey reassured him.

“Oh, call me Luke. We had a Lord of the Rings marathon over Skype a week ago. I think we should be on a first-name basis after that.”

“And you didn’t invite me?” Finn asked indignantly.

“You were at Ben’s house for dinner. We couldn’t.”

“Oh, yeah,” Rey said. “I forgot you and Ben are cousins. See you in about half an hour, Luke! We’ll be good.”

She smiled at him. Then, she and Finn went into his room and hopped on his bed. Finn watched as she opened the ice cream and handed him a spoon.

“Dig in.”

Finn did. As he did, Rey contemplated.

“I feel like you’ve already been told all of the heartbreak advice that I want to tell you,” she said.

“Yeah. I have.”

“There are other fish in the sea, you and Poe’s friendship is stronger than love, give yourself time to heal, et cetera et cetera?”

“Yeah. By you, by Jess, by my dad, by Ben.”

“Wait. Ben?”

Rey tilted her head to the side in confusion, spoon staying still over the ice cream crate.

“He found out somehow. Last night, he texted me his condolences completely out of the blue. It was weird.”

“That _is_ weird. You’re so not close that if I didn’t know you were cousins, I never would have guessed.”

“Yeah, I was surprised, too. I just texted ‘thanks’ and never talked to him again.”

“I’d do that, too.”

“Yeah.”

Rey and Finn fell silent and kept eating ice cream. Finn could tell even without asking her that she didn’t want to do anything else right now. They had fallen into that perfect space in a friendship where nothing needed to be said.

Finn watched her eat, and all of a sudden, he realized that she was beautiful. She had soft skin, a pointy little button nose, and freckles that dotted her tanned face. He wondered what would happen if he kissed her, how it would feel to run his hands through her soft brown hair and feel her body warm on his. For just a second, he leaned forward, nothing moving but his body, face completely still.

But then, he stopped. He thought about whether he really wanted to enter a relationship with her, just as he did with Poe, picturing doing relationship things and kissing and being in love past a friend way.

And his brain got stuck. And he realized that she was beautiful, and he wouldn’t deny that, but he didn’t love her. Not really. He wasn’t in his right mind since that party. He couldn’t imagine… _dating_ her.

And Rey Kenobi deserved better than being just a rebound kiss.

Rey was seemingly unaware of his internal monologue. She seemed worried for some reason, as if she wanted to tell him something but didn’t know how she would react. Several times, she opened her mouth and then closed it again.

“Just say it,” Finn said with a smile.

Rey seemed surprised. “Say what?”

“Oh. You just look like you want to tell me something but keep changing your mind. You know you can tell me anything, right? We’re friends.”

Rey scooped another spoon of ice cream and ignored his question.

“Reeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy.”

Silence. Another scoop.

“Rey, if you don’t want to say it, just tell me. You have just as much of a right to remain silent as you do to speak up.”

Rey shook her head. “I _do_ want to tell you. This particular thing I think you have a right to know. I’m just trying to figure out how.”

Something inside of Finn lit up. He imagined Rey telling him, keeping a mask of faux sadness, that Poe’s relationship with Dylan his grandma’s neighbor had tragically ended. She would tell him, smile bursting through a crack in her grief, that he could try again now, but only after a little bit to let him get over it. But Finn could wait. He would be more than willing to wait.

“Just say it straight up,” Finn said, trying as hard as he could to get his hopes down. It was probably something else. And he was trying to stop imagining Poe’s relationship crumbling to bits.

“All right, I guess. I’m dating your cousin.”

Finn dropped the spoon that he was holding in his hand and barely managed to catch it with the other. He only had one cousin, as far as he knew, and there was no way that Rey could _ever_ like a guy like him.

“You’re dating _Ben?”_

Rey sighed. “I knew you’d react like that. It’s why I didn’t want to tell you at first.”

“I’m sorry,” said Finn, placing a hand on hers. “I didn’t mean to. I was just surprised. It’s, you know, an odd couple. But keep going. How’d you two get together?”

“Well.”

Rey stuck the spoon into the ice cream and twirled a lock of hair around her finger.

“Outside of rock climbing, we actually go to the same school. I think you go to a different one ‘cause of your magnet program or whatever.”

“Yeah.”

“So, you know, at first we didn’t talk ‘cause he was the loner in the corner, and I’m what you might call ‘popular.’ But then we had to work together on projects and whatnot, and we were both on the debate team, and we kind of got to know each other. I realized that he wasn’t just the weird emo kid. He was a person that I’d like to be friends with. So we became friends, and then I asked him out, and he said yes. And now we’re dating.”

Finn wasn’t surprised that it was Rey who’d asked Ben out and not the other way around. He told her so, and she laughed through the ice cream that she had scooped up.

“Well, I kind of got the feeling that he had a crush on me. So, you know, I started waiting for him to ask me out, since I felt the same way. After a while, I realized that he wasn’t going to. I guess he was afraid of rejection. So, of course, I did the job for him.”

“Congratulations,” Finn said, smiling. “I’m not really close to Ben, even though we’re cousins. We don’t really go past my dad forcing me to Skype him on weekends.”

“Yeah, he’s told me. He says he wants to be friends with you, but he isn’t sure how to begin. And, you know, he’s not the emo whiny kid everyone makes him out to be! He used to be, yeah. You should’ve seen him before you came down here. It went so far that he came up with a weird new name for himself. Kylo Ren, I think it was. He kind of grew out of that while I was dating him. I’d like to think that it was because of me, but honestly, I think it was because of himself.”

Finn nodded. All of a sudden, he felt the urge to pick up his phone and talk to his cousin for the first time in years. After all, he had offered his condolences just the morning before, and now, Rey was telling him all about how he wanted to be friends.

“You’re lucky to have a cousin,” Rey said absentmindedly. “Both of my parents are only children, and so am I. I’ve always dreamed of having a brother or a sister.”

“I’ve never really thought about it before.”

That was the truth. Throughout his life, Finn had always taken the fact that he had a cousin for granted. He’d never thought of the idea of having a friend with whom he shared blood.

“I think I’ll text him later. If he wants to be my friend, I’ll take him with open arms.”

“Good luck. I think I’d like not having to choose between you. We can be, like, a friendship triad.”

“Yep.”

Finn was about to scoop more ice cream, but then, he put the spoon away after giving it a lick.

“You know, I’m tired of sitting on my bed and just eating. Want to play something?”

“How about Minecraft?”

“Minecraft sounds good,” Finn said with a smile.

Rey took the spoons and put the ice cream in Finn’s freezer. Then, the two went to the living room and took out the game.


	6. Chapter 6

Christmas break came and went. Most of it, to Finn’s own admission, was filled with visits to the Solos’, talking excitedly to Aunt Leia and Uncle Han and glancing awkwardly at Ben. Finally, on the last day before school was supposed to begin again, Ben took Finn by the hand and led him to his room.

“I, uh, have something to tell you. I know we were never good friends, but I just felt like telling you. I feel like you need to know.”

“Is it that you’re dating Rey?” Finn asked with a smile. “’Cause she told me already. Don’t worry about it. As long as you make her happy, you make me happy.”

“That _was_ what I wanted to say,” Ben said, smiling back awkwardly.

“All right, good. You want to go? I think the adults are picking out a board game, and if we don’t hurry, they’ll either pick something boring or something they’ll fight over.”

“That’s true.”

Finn moved to leave, but suddenly, Ben held out a hand to stop him.

“Wait. I wanted to talk to you. I almost forgot.”

“What about?” Finn asked, turning around and sitting down on the bed.

“Well, uh, I’m sorry about Poe, first of all.”

“Oh. I’m almost over that. Thanks, though.

“And I think I’ve told Rey – and, knowing how close you two are, she probably told you – but I’ve wanted to become friends with you for a fairly long time now. I’m just shy about it ‘cause we weren’t exactly the best of friends as kids.”

“Don’t be. I’m not a dog. I don’t bite.”

Ben grinned. “Really? I always confused you for C-3PO and Artoo. Wondered why you never got along with them.”

“No, no, no. I’m actually a cat. I’m deathly terrified of them.”

“That makes more sense. Let’s go, kitty. We need to put in a vote for Harry Potter Scene It before the adults pick Thurn and Taxis or whatever. _So_ boring.”

Finn and Ben high-fived as Ben opened the door with his other hand. And in that moment, both of them knew that they would be close friends.

 

Two days after the Skywalker-Solo dinner, rock climbing began once more among the Mountain Goats. The whole entourage, Finn could see, was present and sitting in a circle around an excited-looking Coach Cassian.

“Welcome to rope season,” he announced, spreading his arms out. “Everyone in this room has been through this except for Finn. Finn, starting January, we begin training for endurance and more complicated techniques.”

Coach Jyn walked up behind him, bag slung over one shoulder. “Today, you guys will just be climbing the rope problems. We’ll save the lemon-limes for later.”

“Thank you, O Merciful Goddess,” a voice from behind Finn said sarcastically.

“Poe, shut up. Anyway, today, we’ll just be getting you accustomed to wearing a harness. You especially, Finn. I don’t think you’ve climbed in the Pit before.”

“He hasn’t,” Rey burst in, excited smile crossing her face.

Coach Jyn smiled back. “Perfect! After stretching, head down there, and we’ll begin.”

After stretching, they headed down there and began. Coach Jyn assigned each of the climbers routes based on their skill level, but there were so few easily climbable ones that the team had to share. Finn in particular shared a white route with his cousin Ben.

“You can climb it first,” Ben told him. Finn smiled gratefully and went to put on his harness before realizing that he didn’t know how to do it.

“How do you put this on?” he asked Ben, because the coaches were helping the other climbers.

“Oh – just put your legs into the leg holes, but make sure that this loopy thing is in the front. That’ll be what you put the rope in. The route you’re about to climb is an auto-belay, meaning that when you’re on the top, you can just jump down. You’ll know those both by the fact that it’s blue rope and the fact that it doesn’t loop at the top. Those yellow ones need someone down below to belay you. All the coaches are certified, and so are some of the more experienced climbers.”

“How do you become certified?” Finn asked.

“You need to be at least thirteen and get a lesson from a coach. Everyone on the team was certified last year. We’re not allowed to belay any adults, though, because they’re heavier than us, and it’s dangerous.”

“Ah.”

Ben helped Finn tighten the straps of the harness and clip in the hook.

“All right, you’re good now. Hop on.”

Finn wrapped his hands around the start hold. It was a pretty standard thing, very easy to hold on to, and his feet found their way to the foot holds with no complicated maneuvering. One arm stretched out to the next white hold, right foot pushing his body up when it got higher. In this way, one limb after the other, Finn climbed up the route, barely feeling anything different from the boulder problems except for the tugging up of the auto belay rope.

It was only when he got to a certain height, just a couple of feet from the finish hold, that he decided on a whim to look down. And what he saw was exactly as he imagined it for the very first time.

He wasn’t too high up by climbing standards, so the people down below weren’t like bugs at all. In fact, he was so close down that he could see the details of Ben’s smiling face. But still, his feet were above his teammates’ heads, and if he fell right now, and the rope turned out to be faulty, he could very well be injured or die. It brought a certain rush of exhilaration to his heart to be so high. And finally, he understood what Rey meant when she described the Pit as “whoa.”

“Whoa,” he breathed, looking around the gym from a new angle. This was probably why people climbed mountains, even though it was dangerous. The feeling that he felt in that moment couldn’t be replicated by anything at all.

“Finn, you all right?” Ben called up, snapping him out of his thoughts. “You don’t have to finish it if you don’t want to. You can come down and wait a little.”

“No, I’m good.”

Finn sheepishly turned around to face the wall, arms already tired from hanging down for a long time. In about half a minute, he held the finish hold and smiled triumphantly.

“All right, now hop down,” Ben called.

Finn’s hands found themselves frozen to the finish. Instead of hopping down, he opted to climb down a little bit and _then_ release himself.

“Don’t worry about seeming like a scaredy-cat,” Poe said, walking over from his own route. “I remember the first time I came here, I had to be rescued. _That’s_ how scared I was. Good job, Finn. Welcome to the Pit.”

He held out a fist, and Finn bumped it, grinning through his pain.

“Good job, Finn,” said Ben. “You can take a break now. Go get a drink of water or something. You don’t want to climb tired.”

“Thanks, Coach Ben.”

“No problem.”

Finn went to the lobby and got his water bottle from the shelf. Then, he flopped down onto the black couch and put it to his lips, taking small, controlled sips of the drink to avoid wasting it. His arms weren’t _that_ sore, especially since he had only climbed one route. He could wait.

After about a minute, Finn came back to climb another route, entire body buzzing with accomplishment. And at the end of practice, he was tired and happy.

“That was fun,” he said to Rey, who had walked up to him as they packed their gear.

Rey smiled. “Most people say that. I’m pretty sure that if you were to poll climbers, most of them would prefer rope climbing to bouldering. It relies more on technique than on brute strength. That’s what makes it more fun.”

“Yeah. I’m actually kind of excited.”

“As you should be. I, uh, have to go now. My mom is here. See you next practice?”

“See you next practice.”

With a final wave to the rest of his friends, Finn walked towards his dad and began heading back home.

 

Weeks passed, and with them, so did practices. Finn climbed more routes in the Pit, and true to Rey’s word, he grew more comfortable with the harness than he did on the boulder. It wasn’t that the routes were easier, but instead that they were more fun to climb, and, of course, that feeling of exhilaration followed Finn everywhere he went.

Everything was happy, and it was one of those times when even life itself felt perfect. But Poe’s absence from the group one Tuesday, and the fact that he hadn’t told either of his friends that he wasn’t going to come, threw a wench directly into Finn’s system.

“Do you know where Poe is?” Coach Jyn asked Finn, Rey, and Jess. Instead of saying anything, the three looked between each other and shrugged.

“I guess I can call him,” Finn offered.

“I don’t think you’ll need to. He’s probably just sick. We’ll find out next time he comes to us. I don’t want us to waste time on something that’s probably nothing.”

“All right.”

“We’ll be doing deep stretches today. After about half an hour, we’ll go back to the Pit and do lemon-limes.”

The groan wasn’t uttered, but it was felt; lemon-limes were quite tedious, and no one was looking forward to doing them. When Finn thought about how Poe would probably be complaining out loud, something sank deep in his stomach. He knew that he shouldn’t be worried, but he was anyway, for a reason that he would never be able to explain.

A minute or so before deep stretches ended, the door opened. Finn’s head turned around so swiftly that his neck winced in pain, and he instantly spotted Poe and waved to him.

“Sorry I’m late,” Poe called to the group. “What are we doing?”

“We’re doing deep stretches. Go traverse three times and stretch quickly. You don’t have time.”

“All right.” 

Finn couldn’t help but notice that his voice was meeker than it was usually, like that of a child who had been told to shut up too often. He glanced over at Poe bending down to stretch, and he saw his face crumple helplessly, tears escaping from his eyes and freezing on his cheeks.

“Poe,” he whispered to himself, knowing that no one would hear him. He hastily clipped off his auto belay and handed it to a confused Armitage before breaking out into a run towards his friend, not stopping until they were next to each other.

“Poe,” he said again, tapping his shoulder until he looked him in the eye. “Poe, what happened to you?”

Poe smiled in a feeble attempt at hiding his tears. “Oh, hi, Finn. Guess they mean what they say when they say that gym climbing is for weaklings, right?”

“Poe, you’re not a weakling. What happened to you?”

The weak façade of happiness shattered under Finn’s touch. Poe placed his face onto Finn’s shoulder and sobbed, spit dribbling onto his shirt and tears falling freely. Somewhat awkwardly, Finn placed a hand on Poe’s back and stroked it, pulling him closer in comfort.

“It’s all right. I’m here. It’s all right.”

Poe stayed in this position for a minute or two before pulling apart. Finn watched him take weak breaths and wipe his face with his forearm.

“I’m sorry. I’ll calm down now.”

“Cry more if you need to,” Finn reassured him, taking his hand and squeezing it. “I’m your friend. I won’t judge.”

“No, I think I’ve spent all my tears. I guess you want to know what happened.”

“I do. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry.”

Poe sighed and looked down at his knees. “Well…it’s Dylan.”

“What happened with Dylan?” Finn asked sternly, grumble coming from deep inside of him.

Poe jumped back in surprise. “Whoa. Loud.”

“Sorry,” Finn said, shrinking back. “Didn’t mean to say it that loudly. Keep going.”

“Well, you know how he said he didn’t have Facebook?”

“Yeah.”

“So today I found his Facebook. It was Dylan Covfefe or something instead of Dylan Stevens. And-”

Poe stopped and took a deep breath before beginning again.

“He has a boyfriend. And it isn’t me.”

Finn bared his teeth. “That _fucker._ ”

Poe sighed sadly. “I couldn’t believe it at first. I mean, Dylan loved me. Or so he said. But I guess I was just another plaything.”

Wordlessly, Finn allowed Poe to come closer and wrapped his arms around him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, running a hand through his hair. “I know how much you loved him. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Thanks, man. I just need some time, I think. To handle it.”

“Do you think you’ll get back together with him?”

Poe laughed. “Of _course_ not! He didn’t even apologize for it, can you believe that? He just said-” his tone switched to a mocking one- “’Oh, yeah, it’s true. Sorry, babe.’ And then I said, ‘No apology? You don’t regret it?’ And he said, ‘Oh. Sorry.’ And then I said, ‘I can’t handle this. We’re over.’”

He kept laughing, and eventually, Finn smiled. “I’m glad you’re coping with this.”

“Thanks. Man, I’m telling you I miss him, and I do, but he was _such_ an asshole. I think I’ll be over him soon enough.”

“That’s good. You ready to keep stretching now?”

“Yeah. C’mon, Finn, go climb.”

“I will.”

Poe hugged Finn one last time, so tightly that Finn let out a helpless croak. Then, the two parted, and Finn returned to the group in silence.

“What happened?” Rey asked, and the rest of the group echoed the statement.

“He’ll tell you if he wants. I don’t want to tell it for him. It’s kind of personal.”

“But will he be okay?” Armitage asked, tilting a smug head to the side.

Jess glared at him. “Let the kid heal! Did you see how much he was crying? Of _course_ he won’t be okay, at least not now! Jeez.”

Finn looked over at Poe and smiled, and Poe smiled back and waved enthusiastically.

“Actually,” Finn said, “I think he will be.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Coach Jyn, I have a question.”

It was late February, a couple of days before the first competition of the season, and the rock climbing group was sitting in a circle after practice. Rey had raised her hand, nudging Finn with her other elbow while the latter pretended not to notice.

“Yes, Rey? What is it?”

Rey grinned. “So you know the ice cream voucher rule about the Christmas get-togethers?”

_Oh, Jesus Christ._

Finn buried his face in his hands, cheeks burning hot against his palms, eyes squeezed shut to ignore his teammates staring at him.

“Rey, stop,” he pleaded. Rey merely winked in his direction and carried on.

“What about it?” Coach Jyn asked.

“Can it theoretically apply to rock climbing practices in general? Like, if the person in question missed their chance in December?”

The rest of the team hid giggles behind fingers. Coach Jyn raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“Are you asking for yourself or for a friend?”

“Will your answer change depending on mine?”

“No. I’m just curious.”

Rey smiled wider, so wide that it seemed like her face was going to split in half.

“For a friend. I’m sure he’s very curious.”

“Gee, I wonder who the friend is,” Jess quipped, nudging Finn with her elbow.

“Well,” said Jyn, glancing at him pointedly, “Rey, you can tell your _friend_ that I’d be willing to make an exception if she _or he_ gets together with the other person in public.”

“Preferably now,” Armitage added.

Finn glared at him. Suddenly, Ben grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

“Oh, Finn, can I meet with you alone? To discuss _the thing._ ”

“What thing?” Finn asked.

Ben looked at him pointedly. “The family thing. Remember? We have to figure out _that._ ”

“Oh. _That_ thing,” Finn said, catching on.

They walked out of the gym and pressed themselves against the wall.

“Finn, you promised you’d do it. You promised me, Rey, _and_ Jess. We were all there.”

“I promised I’d do it today. Never promised I’d do it in front of five other people and Coach Jyn.”

“You were willing to do it on Christmas. It wasn’t just Coach Jyn then. It was Coach Cassian, Coach Bodhi, Coach Baze, and Chirrut. And K2-SO. Why not now?”

Finn sighed and scratched the back of his neck. “That was different.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. But what if he says no?”

Ben took Finn by the shoulders. “You can do it. C’mon. If he says no, then your friendship will win out. And at least you tried.”

“I guess so.”

“C’mon, let’s go.”

Finn bit his lip so hard that it was about to burst with blood. One hand clenched into a fist, and he shook so hard that he couldn’t open the door. Ben was forced to do it, and he smirked as he looked back at his cousin.

When they arrived back to the gym, the others were sitting in a half circle. Behind them stood Coach Jyn, waving two ice cream vouchers in her hand.

“You got this, cuz,” Ben whispered, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Thanks, uh…cuz.”

Ben sat down in between Armitage and Phasma and put his hands under his chin. Finn cleared his throat and took a deep breath before beginning.

“Poe,” he said, looking at his friend directly. The rest of the circle _ahh_ ed, and Coach Jyn placed a hand over her mouth.

“Yes?” Poe asked, smirk disappearing from his mouth. If Finn looked closely, and he did, he could see the faintest trace of a blush on his cheeks.

“I’ve liked you from the moment I met you, and as we became friends – and I’m glad we did – that feeling only grew and grew. I wanted to do this on Christmas, actually, but that doesn’t matter. I wanted to ask you-”

_“No!”_

Finn jumped back as the circle gasped. There was rage on Poe’s face, and his teeth were bared in a scowl.

“…Okay,” Finn whispered, meekly sitting back down. The tips of his ears burned scarlet, and his fists wrapped around each other so tightly that his fingernails left marks.

“My god, Finn. I thought you were better than this. I thought you were my friend. I trusted you.”

“Just because you rejected me doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole about it,” Finn snapped, tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

“You’re cheating on your girlfriend, and _I’m_ the asshole? Finn, I-”

“Huh?”

Finn tilted his head to the side and looked at Poe, whose anger was slowly fading from his face.

“Poe, I don’t have a girlfriend. What kind of person do you think I am?”

_“Oh!”_

Poe walked over to Finn and wrapped him in a hug.

“Oh my god, Finn, I’m so sorry. I thought you were dating Rey and were going to make me the side hoe. Rey doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment. I’m so sorry, Finn. I’m so sorry.”

“You’ve got the wrong cousin,” Ben told him, placing an elbow on Finn’s shoulder.

Poe looked between them, mouth open, and nodded wordlessly.

“So, uh, what do I do with these ice cream vouchers?” Coach Jyn asked awkwardly.

“Give them to us,” Poe said, smiling at Finn. “I accept.”

The rock climbing team clapped enthusiastically. Smiling, Coach Jyn handed one voucher to Finn and Poe each.

“When do you want to do this?” Poe asked. “I can’t do this Saturday, of course, because of the comp. Would Sunday work?”

“I think so, yeah. Hey, I have season passes to the water park. Want to go there and eat ice cream afterwards?”

“I’ll ask my parents, but I probably can.”

“Same here.”

Finn wanted to hug Poe, but he realized that if he did, they would probably get another round of applause. Instead, they high-fived and then did finger guns at each other. Even this, though, prompted clapping that seemed to go on forever.

“Let’s just climb,” Finn begged.

“Let’s climb,” Coach Jyn agreed.

The team followed her into the Pit. Finn and Ben, who went last, looked at each other and smiled.

 

On Sunday morning, Finn knocked on Poe’s door in three quick bursts, heart pounding with nervousness until his dad opened the door.

“I’m guessing you’re Finn Skywalker?” he asked with a smile.

“Yes, sir. I am.”

“Well, take good care of my son. As long as he’s happy, I’m happy.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Dad, are you harassing my date?” Poe called from somewhere in the back. After a couple of seconds, he arrived, wearing a shirt and swim trunks and carrying a bag slung over one shoulder.

“Of course I am. What father would I be if I wasn’t?”

“Um, I don’t know.”

“Exactly.”

Poe took Finn’s hand and placed his chin on his shoulder.

“One time, while I was Skyping Dylan,” he whispered, “he walked in completely naked from the waist down. And holding a gun. So I’m guessing he likes you if he didn’t do that.”

Finn laughed.

“Have fun! Get home safe!” Poe’s dad called after them.

“Thanks, dad!”

“Thanks, Mr. Dameron!”

Poe opened the front passenger door and was about to sit inside before Finn cut him off with a wave of his hand.

 _“I’m_ supposed to let _you_ in.”

Finn closed the door and opened it again. Poe, laughing, stepped inside and sat there until Finn stepped into the driver’s seat and switched the gear into reverse to back out.

“Thanks, sugarnugget,” Poe said warmly, placing a hand on Finn’s.

“Thank me when I give you a good time, uh...candyfrenchfry.”

“I’ll thank you whenever I want, Mister Skywalker.”

Finn grinned. “Whoa. Way to show dominance in this relationship.”

Poe winked. “Kinky.”

“You know it, daddy.”

“Mm.”

Finn switched the gear back to drive. And then, the two went on their way.

 

Poe and Finn only spent a couple of hours at the water park; soon after, it started raining intensely, and Finn pulled on Poe’s hand to lead him out.

“Um, why should we leave?” Poe asked indignantly. “We haven’t been on all of the rides yet.”

“Because it’s raining. And I want ice cream.”

“Dude, rain is basically water falling from the sky. And we’re not at the _fire_ park, are we?”

“But consider: ice cream.”

“Okay, fine. Just for you, baby girl.”

Finn placed an elbow on Poe’s shoulder and winked. Holding hands and covering their heads with their bags, they ran back to Finn’s car, where, gasping, Finn slammed the heater on.

“What’s your favorite kind of ice cream?” Poe asked as they drove.

“Vanilla. Which happens to _not_ be my favorite kind of sex. What’s yours?”

“Favorite kind of sex or favorite kind of ice cream?”

“Favorite kind of ice cream, you dolt _._ Don’t you think it’s a bit early for sex?”

“Mint chocolate chip for sure. The rest of my family _hates_ mint, but I love it. I’m a bit of an odd one out.”

“In more ways than one.”

“I guess.”

They fell into silence. Nothing but the classical music sounding through the speakers and the cars other than theirs could be heard in the silence.

“God, I want to kiss you,” Poe said in a voice that was half a rumble and half a murmur.

Finn’s face flushed scarlet. “As long as the car isn’t moving while you’re doing it, I’m fine with it. I don’t want us to crash and die before we’re even dating.”

“I don’t know,” Poe mused. “Dying together is kind of romantic.”

“Not yet. Maybe a little bit later. When we’re both old and married.”

Poe smiled. “I guess I can wait that long. Until we arrive at the ice cream place. How much do we have to go?”

Finn glanced at his phone. “Google Maps says ten minutes.”

_“Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes? For the next ten minutes, we can handle that…”_

“Musical theatre? Really?”

_“We can watch the waves, we can watch the sky, or just sit and wait, as the time ticks by…”_

“Start at the beginning,” Finn protested. “And let me be Jamie. I know all of his lines, but not all of Cathy’s. And I can’t look it up ‘cause I’m driving.”

“A’ight. Start.”

_“No, that one’s Jerry Seinfeld, that one’s John Lennon there...”_

The song lasted about seven minutes, so by the time it was over, they were pulling into the parking lot of the ice cream place. Finn’s body was buzzing with anticipation, throat sore from singing, as the two walked out of the car and locked the doors.

“Well, we’ve waited long enough,” Poe said, smiling widely. Without warning, he grabbed Finn by the collar of his shirt, pressed him against the car window, and kissed him.

At first, Finn’s eyes widened in shock, but quickly, he relaxed into Poe’s arms, mouth opening to connect with his. They stayed like this for a minute at most, but it felt like hours, days, eternities of pure, pure bliss. When finally they broke apart, Poe was humming with pleasure, and Finn was too amazed to say or do anything at all.

“It’s official,” he said finally. “That was better than the ice cream is going to be.”

Poe took Finn by the hand and placed his head on his shoulder, soft brown hair rustling against his neck. Like this, in silence, they walked into the ice cream shop.


	8. Chapter 8

**Epilogue: 1 Year Later**

Just before Poe was due to arrive at his house, Finn was pacing around his room, frantically digging into his hands and taking occasional glances at the computer in front of him.

“Do you think he’ll like it?” he asked the screen.

Jess sighed. “What did I say the last ten times you asked us this?”

“I know, I know, but maybe you changed your mind. Maybe you reconsidered suddenly.”

“Why would I? It’s the perfect gift. He’ll love it, Finn, don’t you worry.”

Rey and Ben nodded their agreement. They had all been in a Skype group call for the past hour, reassuring Finn that his first anniversary gift to his boyfriend Poe was a good one. Finn himself was wavering in between confidence and panic as he awaited his date’s arrival.

The doorbell rang, and when Finn checked the time on his phone, he realized that the guest had to be Poe.

“Sorry, guys, gotta go,” he said into the webcam.

“Bye, Finn!”

“Have fun!”

“Good luck!”

Finn scooped up the present that he had wrapped and ran towards the door so quickly that he almost slipped, barely managing to grab his wallet on the way. Sure enough, when he opened the door, it was Poe, dressed in a suit with a blue penguin tie and holding a gift of his own.

“Hey, handsome,” he said, stepping in and giving Finn a kiss on the cheek.

Finn smiled and took his boyfriend’s hand. “Hi, sugar. Open gifts now or after the date?”

“After the date. I want to spend it in _suspense._ ”

“Let’s go, then.”

Poe placed his gift down on a shelf next to Finn’s, and then, they stepped out of the house and into Poe’s car.

“So, plans are still the same, right?” Poe asked as they drove. “Watch _The Boss Baby_ and eat dinner in the movie theater, then walk around the park for a little while, then head home?”

“Of course.”

Poe grinned and held out a hand for a bump. “Best first anniversary date ever.”

“You know it, baby.”

At the movie theater, the duo ordered two burgers and a medium-sized popcorn bucket, and Finn was about to take it and go before Poe held him back.

“Hold up. Can we also have, uh…three boxes of M’n’Ms?”

The cashier’s eyes widened in amazement. “I mean, you can, but do you really want to?"

“I do.”

“I’m not paying for three boxes of M’n’Ms,” Finn told Poe sternly.

“I won’t make you. Trust me.”

The cashier slid the boxes over. As Finn watched wordlessly, Poe opened them all and poured them into the bucket of popcorn, shaking it slightly to mix them up.

“It’s really great,” he promised. “Before you came to us, Rey and Jess and I used to do this all the time. Only we’d get, like, four or five and get a large bucket.”

“If you say so, babe. I trust you, I guess.”

“Good. Now let’s go find our seats. Otherwise, we’ll miss _The Boss Baby._ ”

Behind them, Finn could hear the cashier giggling into his hands.

 

After the movie ended, the duo opted to skip the park and go back to Finn’s house instead. The whole ride, Finn watched Poe tremble with anticipation in the front passenger seat, giggling excitedly and looking out the window practically every few seconds.

“What’s wrong?” Finn finally asked him, knowing full well that the answer would be “nothing.”

“Nothing!” Poe shouted gleefully.

“Whoa. Chill.”

“How am I supposed to chill when it’s our _anniversary?_ And I have the _best gift_ waiting for you back home? And you have the _best gift_ waiting for me back home, too?”

“You haven’t even seen my gift yet, Poe.”

“Any gift from you is the best gift. You could give me cow shit wrapped in a pretty bow, and it’d still the best gift.”

“I hope _you_ didn’t give me cow shit wrapped in a pretty bow,” Finn mused.

“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Finn drove on in silence.

“I gave you _horse_ shit wrapped in a pretty bow.”

“I’m going to crash this car,” Finn promised. “Wait until we get to my house before dropping these bombshells.”

“Oh, you’re such a buzzkill. You’re, like, the chips to my salsa. The flour to my cinnamon. The…”

“Responsible boyfriend to your irresponsible boyfriend?” Finn asked, turning the corner and pulling up onto his street.

Poe looked over and opened his mouth, as if to say something, but ended up saying nothing. Finn reached a hand over and ruffled his hair.

“See? You’re silent because I’m right. Admit it, candyfrenchfry.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Finn pulled into his driveway and opened the door to let Poe out. Together, they walked to his front door, which Finn unlocked. Scooping up their gifts, he led his boyfriend to the living room (“Dad says I can’t have you in my bedroom”), where they exchanged wrapped boxes. Finn waited to tear into his until he watched Poe pull out a necklace shaped like two ice cream cones: vanilla and mint chocolate chip.

“Turn it over,” Finn instructed. Poe obeyed and read out loud.

 _“I love you to the edges of the universe and back.”_ His lips turned up with a faint smile before it split his face wide open, and he leaned forward and kissed Finn firmly on the lips.

“I love it so much! Did you make this yourself? It looks homemade.”

“Uh-huh. I had to look up a YouTube tutorial and get my dad’s help, but I managed.”

“I’m so proud of you, sweetie pie. Damn, now my gift seems horrible in comparison.”

“No gift from you is horrible,” Finn reassured him, taking his hand and taking off the wrapping paper with the other. Inside was a plush dog that seemed to be a goldendoodle, just like BB-8, which Finn instantly stroked, smiling.

“The collar has important dates in our relationship inscribed on it,” Poe said. Sure enough, when Finn looked at it, he could see the day they met, the day Finn asked Poe out, their first date, and their anniversary.

“I wanted to put the Christmas party and when I broke up with Dylan, but then I realized that that’d be morbid.”

“Yeah.”

Finn set the dog aside and hugged Poe tightly, planting a kiss in between his head and his neck.

“God, I love you so much,” he murmured against his skin, feeling Poe’s hand run down his back.

“I know.”

They stayed in this position for what felt like hours, neither of them willing to let go of each other for even a second. Finn felt his body overflowing with happiness and bliss, buzzing with how happy he was that he’d chosen rock climbing all those months ago.


End file.
